what not to say to someone with breast cancer

What to Say When Someone Is Diagnosed With Cancer

Sep 01, What NOT to Say: "Don't worry." Followed by "I've known lots of women who've survived breast cancer," or "It's probably not as bad as they say," or "You're going to be just fine."Author: PJ Hamel. If you know someone whos been diagnosed with breast cancer, dont worry too much about saying the exact perfect thing. There really is no perfect thing to say, except, maybe, I love you, Im here for you and Im bringing you chocolate right now.Estimated Reading Time: 6 mins.

Editor's note: We're bringing back this popular piece from October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month and because, well, good advice is timeless. Are comments like this meant to be hurtful? Absolutely aith. Breast cancer patients know that their loved ones are worried, too.

No, breasts are not essential to survival except perhaps for newbornsbut they are part of our bodies and, for some women, they can be much more: a huge part of their femininity, their sexuality, even their identity.

Mastectomy can also trigger both somepne issues and chronic pain and if some or all lymph nodes are removed at the same time a common whtapatients also have to deal with lymphedema.

More pain, more chronic problems. What do you say instead? I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know mastectomy can be very difficult.

Believe it or not, remarks like this are intended to make cancer patients feel better. But for some BC patients, losing yet another aspect of their femininity, their individuality, and for some, their defining look, can be extremely difficult. Would you like to talk about the hair loss? You get a free boob job! What to say instead? What are your ssay What stage are you? Are you, like, dying? After a while, though, I stopped. Tell me about your treatment plan.

I can drive you. Did you ever use deodorant? Forget to have kids? Take birth control brsast You noh it on yourself. Or simply cahcer to forward some wifh theory no Gwyneth, tp do not cause cancer. The bottom line: breast cancer strikes women who are young and how to make library in c short and tall; thin and heavy; meat eaters and vegetarians; couch potatoes and athletes.

Breast cancer even strikes men. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and am here for you during treatment. Is Tuesday a good night to bring by dinner? Are you sure you have cancer? I saw pictures of you on Facebook and you looked fine to me. How to strip wire with pliers one is really horrible, especially for metastatic breast cancer patients who will be in treatment, and enduring its side effects, for the rest of their lives.

Metastatic patients are terminal but commonly hear this because their lower-dose, long-term treatment may not cause hair loss. It may, however, cause nausea, severe bone ho, gastrointestinal issues, skin sloughing and constant fatigue, on top of whatever pain sy cancer itself is causing. So a night out with friends might be followed by three days of bed rest a much less common Facebook share. How are you feeling this week?

How about I come by on Saturday and clean your house? Get over it! You need to let go and just move on! Quit dwelling on it. This comment is more about the person saying it than about you. First, treatment is brutal and can cause lots of collateral damage: "little" things like lymphedema, neuropathy, fatigue, joint pain, anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction and even other cancers. Second, reconstructing new breasts can involve multiple surgeries over months or even years.

No, it's not treatment, but it's still major surgery and it's still traumatizing. They need to go back to their oncologist every few months for checkups and tests hello scanxiety! Cancer and its treatment will be part of their daily reality until they die. A breast cancer survivor, she blogs at doublewhammied. Email her at dmapes fredhutch. Donate Now. Hutch How to play counter strike offline Stories. What you should and shouldn't say to a breast cancer patient.

Tips from the trenches on how ho be supportive to a loved brast in treatment. Help Us Eliminate Cancer Every dollar counts.

Please support lifesaving research today. Custom Donation Amount. Living with Stage 4: The breast cancer no one understands In a culture focused on survivorship, those with metastatic breast cancer who will be in treatment for the rest of their lives can feel isolated and misunderstood October 13, Your body, after cancer Coming to terms with the 'new normal' after surgery and treatment March 6, Wnat Modified, February 05,

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Please say something. Dont avoid us or ignore us because cancer makes you feel uncomfortable. If talking about cancer makes you uneasy, talk about something else. Sometimes we dont feel like talking about cancer either. Nov 12, Saying nothing at all is often the worst way to help someone with cancer. You may not have the right words or be able to manage your emotions, but not saying anything can make them feel abandoned and hurt. Simply acknowledging that you feel awkward lets the person know you care and dont want to hurt their feelings. Sep 29, What you shouldnt say Everything will be OK!. Though medical advances have lowered the death rates for breast cancer, the hard truth is no one Just stay positive. Talking about a breast cancer diagnosis isnt fun. Its OK for them to take the diagnosis hard or My Author: Beth Ann Mayer.

The leaves are showing their vibrant fall colors. Pumpkin spice everything can be found everywhere, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month will soon be underway. Learning that a friend, family member, or coworker has breast or any other cancer is hard. Figuring out what to say next is harder. Thirty-five years later when I was forty-ninea wife, mom of three, and professionalwith breast cancer, cancer still was really hard, especially after I lost my hair, had agonizing bone pain, and diarrhea during months of chemotherapy.

While advances in cancer treatment have improved over the years, any treatment stinks. Reconstruction, if chosen, may be done with implants or with some form of flap reconstruction where the surgeon may use tissue from other body parts to reconstruct the breasts.

These are painful surgeries with fairly long recoveries and leave individuals profoundly changed in their self-identities and in their sex lives. So, not a tummy tuck. No one asks for a cancer diagnosis. When I was in treatment, I received much unsolicited advice. Respect the patient and her choices.

While not unkind, these expressions discount how individuals with cancer may feel, which, more often than not, may be sad, angry, terrified, and anxious. Cancer may come with hair loss, weight loss or gain, changes in skin tone, etc. Instead, simply tell the individual how great it is to see her. Listen or offer words of encouragement and support. Ask what you can do to help them in practical, concrete ways, such as making meals, taking them to appointments, or picking up children from school.

Finally, talk to them about something, anything, other than cancer. Christine Shields Corrigan gives voice to the beautiful ordinary in her essays published in literary outlets. A graduate of Manhattan College and Fordham University School of Law, Chris teaches creative nonfiction writing and provides writing workshops for cancer support groups.

She lives in New Jersey with her family. Dumb Little Man. Communicating Health Negativity Relationships. Share on Facebook. Maybe you should have worked out more. She died. Like this Article? Subscribe to Our Feed! Navigating Through Our Ugly Emotions. Follow Us. March 18, All Rights Reserved. April 23,